


Dear Dumb Brother and Angel Get Your Crap Together

by Humanity_is_Dean



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Doctor Who References, M/M, Marvel References, Mary Ships It, Mary and Sam conspire, Mary loves Cas, Sam Is So Done, Sam Ships It, Season/Series 11, Shipper Sam, The Darkness - Freeform, Very Secret Diary, master plans
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-30
Updated: 2016-08-07
Packaged: 2018-05-04 06:25:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 7,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5323898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Humanity_is_Dean/pseuds/Humanity_is_Dean
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam's journal of venting over his brother and his angel best friend and their denial.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I really don't know. There will be more but yeah I don't know.

November 4, 2015- New Journal Entry

Dean and I got back from that last hunt only to find Cas at the end of the first season of Doctor Who, when the 9th doctor turns in to 10. I have already watched the whole series, but Dean only finished the first season and wanted Cas to catch up before continuing. That's okay and normal, I suppose, but it is where my issues begin. 

The two of them have been hauled up in MY room all day, and it looks like it's staying that way, watching Doctor Who season 2. Dean has only called me twice asking for snacks, drinks, and pie which I dutifully ignored. I wish I didn't do that though. They walked out all shits and giggles while they took a friggin' bathroom break and a food run. They walked in the same way they left my room. I'm seriously about to vomit all over my laptop. I also fear for the cleanliness of room, even though they say they aren't together. But am not blind, they totally are. 

Well, anyway, now I'm sitting in the library waiting for the frozen pizza to be done, so I'm writing a little journal entry...Oh hold up, I hear the ding of the timer going off. Wouldn't want to disturb the binge-a-thon of Doctor Who that's going on.

I took them both two slices of pizza, I don't exactly care at the moment that Cas doesn't need to eat. I just walk in because, yeah, it's my room and I can. And Dean gets pissy with me! He's all, "Sammy! We're trying to watch something. You better have food." To add to that, the two of them are basically in each other's laps. Dean grabs the plates with a "Awe, Sammy. You're a real sweetheart," and he runs straight back to the Doctor and his angel. 

So yeah, I am done with them and their "We aren't together" crap because they are and their party is moving somewhere right now...

But I hear crying which means they are on Doomsday, and I'm not truly that evil to kick them out at such an emotionally straining time. Okay. But tomorrow they are moving their now Doctor Who themed denial party somewhere else.

You know, I'm great brother.


	2. 'Twas the Night before Thanksgiving

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah...here's another one.

November 25, 2015

Tomorrow's Thanksgiving, and it has already been one hell of a week. I don't think I can handle Thanksgiving. 

Sunday morning was just fine. Dean and Cas made breakfast (Dean thinks that Cas needs to know how cook in case A. he becomes human again or B. Dean is unable 'cause apparently it's suicide if I cook). I went to get groceries and I got this girl, Bethany's number. She was kind enough and very attractive, but I don't think I'll call...I might...but I haven't had time to actually think about that because I came home to a millennia old angel's tears and my brother's yelling. Here's what happened:

I entered the Bunker through the garage, and I was welcomed home with Dean emotionally screaming, "-DON'T WANT TO GO? I DON'T WANT YOU TO GO MAN! YOU'RE FRIGGIN' AMAZING! I LOVE YOU, MAN!" In the background, I could hear Cas' sobs. Then, faint whispering between the two that I couldn't make out. My first thoughts went straight to Cas. Was he leaving? And Dean was telling him he can't? Was my brother finally getting up the courage to tell Cas? Was Cas crying with joy at Dean's proclamation of love? 

I walk in to the den to see the two idiots huddled up together, frigging cuddling and shedding their manly/angelic love tears. What did I do? What any sane person would do. I ran in to join in their hug and shouting like an idiot, "Finally! You have no idea how long I've waited! I'm so happy for you! Thank-"

My celebration was cut short with a, "Sammy? What the Hell you talking about?" from Dean and Cas saying, "Sam? Why are you taking such joy in our hour of despair?"

I was utterly confused and asked as such, "What?!"

Dean responded with a bitch-face he definitely stole from me and a finger pointed at the television. At the same time, Cas said, "Ten, Sam. He's gone. They took him away, and he didn't want to go." 

So yeah. Not the best way to start my week. I thought those two were FINALLY telling each other about their love after years of pining, but no. What I get is them crying in each other's arms (which totally proves them of being a couple and yes, I got a picture), and Dean complaining about how stupid he bets the not-ginger, girly giraffe is going to be as the Doctor with Cas tearing up about how they forced Ten to leave when he obviously didn't want to go. 

Now they are taking a week break from Doctor Who as a mourning period, almost like their three-day break after Rose left. So for the last two days, Dean has been working on the Impala, and Cas is practicing his dinner making skills while I honestly do some "research". Let me just tell you, journal, Tumblr is scary...and I've been Satan. 

Now it's Wednesday. Tomorrow's Thanksgiving Thursday. Dean said since we have Cas, we are doing it this year, and he doesn't care if the turkey tastes like molecules, Cas needs to experience Thanksgiving. So, that's what they are doing right now, shopping for Thanksgiving food. Dean says he has the turkey and mashed potatoes. Cas says he'll make sweet potatoes and pie. Dean seemed skeptical at first, especially about the pie, but Cas, bless him (Can I say that...he's already an angel? ). Cas shot Dean those blue puppy dog eyes and something about how much it would mean to him if he could make us, mostly Dean, pie. Dean, of course, caved. So, yeah, Cas and my dumb brother are preparing for Thanksgiving, and I'm writing about their story of denial. 

This is my life, the less gory side, but still...maybe I should call Bethany.


	3. November 26, 2015

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not that funny. Not that great but it's Thanksgiving and it had to be done.

November 26, 2015

Today was Thanksgiving which I was dreading, but the whole day was actually enjoyable. It felt like the typical family Thanksgiving that none of us ever got; we watched the frigging Macy's parade, for crying out loud. After that was over, we complained about how stupid the whole thing was and why everyone made a big deal about it. It was really stupid, but maybe if we saw it growing up it would actually mean something to us, like it does to everyone else. By ten thirty, both Dean and Cas were in the kitchen preparing the dinner while I kept them both company. It was a odd yet amazing thing we've never done. Dean was showing Cas what to do with the food. How they moved around each other was flawless. I tried to help out, but I was immediately shooed off for fear of exploding the kitchen. Which Dean was totally over reacting about. 

As everything cooked or baked, we all sat down to watch a football game, but soon turned it off. Football isn't exactly our thing, we never watched it growing up and Cas didn't care, either. So we shamelessly watched Charlie Brown. Cas got in some metaphors relating to God and humanity which Dean immediately shot down. Dinner was uneventful but great none the less. They both did an amazing job on the food, I'm still amazed. How on Earth did my brother and Cas learn how to cook? I mean come on, an Angel of the Lord cooking Thanksgiving dinner. The whole situation was comical. 

Dessert, now that was eventful. Cas' frigging apple pie was probably one of the most delicious pies I have ever tasted. And Dean, my manly man brother who is "unable" to shed a single man tear over feelings but can spare at least two for Cas' pie. Cas was obviously touched by Dean's over-exaggerated display of affection toward the pie. Dean said it even rivaled our mom's. I think that right there was a marriage proposal. 

We ended Thanksgiving in the den watching the second season of Game of Thrones (Doctor Who is apparently their thing because I am all caught up, and a alleged spoilerer). I sat in my chair while those two idiots took over the couch. They still aren't officially together, I'm getting awfully tired of their crap, but we had really enjoyable day which we haven't had since before the Darkness and Mark of Cain deal, and I wasn't going to push any buttons that would ruin it. 

Thanksgiving was great and if we live to see next year, we'll probably do it again.There's a lot of stuff we still need to talk about, but that's all stuff for another day, tomorrow maybe, but today I thought I would just enjoy our first real Thanksgiving as a family. For once everything felt alright today, despite the crap going on in the background, but I know today's bliss won't last. It never does.


	4. December 30, 2015

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> December in a nutshell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haven't done this in a while, sorry! I've had a extremely stressful month. I hope everyone had an amazing holiday!

December 30, 2015

Its been a few weeks since my last journal entry, but things have gotten hectic and messy. I'm just now having the time to do so. I might as well give a little run down of what Team Free Will has been up to. It's...well, it's been one hell of a month (Pun regrettably intended). 

After Thanksgiving, my old imaginary, or so I thought, friend, Sully, came to us in the bunker and needed help. We figured it out. Found out about the other kids who were once under Sully's care. This one girl was going around killing Sully's pals because Sully wasn't paying attention when they were playing so so long ago, and her sister got in an accident and died. I understand why she did it. Entirely so, but I cant help but to think it was my fault. Not that she killed those imaginaries, but Sully. I mean I apparently broke his heart. What if...what if I got so obsessed with being like Dean that I- you know, let's not go there.

Well any way, visions from "God" came to me through the burning bush, THE FREAKING BURNING BUSH, to let Lucifer out of the cage. And Amara, who is apparently Cas' aunt which is...which is yeah, weird, is getting out of control. She was searching for God while I was. I talked to Cas about the whole God/Lucifer thing while Dean was in the shower because ,boy, can my brother hog an angel. Cas wasn't sure what to believe, i mean, he has been looking for the guy for years and nada. Cas thought maybe it was one of his brothers (he wishes it was Gabe and so do I) trying to help us, but he even thought that was far-fetched. He did bring up an interesting point, though. If it was God, it would make sense that he would want Lucifer out. Lucifer was once the light bringer, and he vanquished the Darkness all those years ago. But Cas did believe in the possibility of it being Lucifer as well as the one who contacted me. Because and I quote, "Well, Lucifer was the only angel who held any type of courage against the Darkness, but he was also terrified of what she could do." I asked Cas if it would be smart to go to the cage. He told me he preferred if I didn't because he cares for my sanity, but he said he also understood why I needed to. He asked to accompany me, but Dean would kill me even farther if I were to take Cas with me.

So, the forever idiot. Always making the wrong decisions time and time again. Leaving my brother. Then Jess. Then the Ruby and the Demon blood. Then not looking Dean and Cas when they disappeared. Then not shutting the gates. Not putting that damn devil's trap under Abaddon. Not paying attention to my brother while he got the mark. Lying to my brother time and time again. The deal with Rowena and the spell that unleashed the Darkness. Each bad decision was led by caring too much or not enough for my brother. This stupid- Okay, Sam. That is not getting us anywhere. Breathe.

So long story short, Crowley took me to Hell, and I so stupidly didn't take Cas and Dean didn't answer his phone (we will get to that. Cas really laid one on him there). Rowena worked his witch powers, and he was there. Lucifer. I ended up stuck in the cage for 2 weeks. Two weeks of absolute, pure, inhumane Hell with Lucifer. Again. 

Cas finally snapped and left the Bunker one night and came to get me. Dean and him were apparently strategizing about how to save me, without having to make deals (because Cas would not allow Dean) and Cas burning up all his mojo. They tried the angels, Crowley, Reapers until Cas just left. He fought his brother and promised to return to finish discussing the Darkness, alone. My mind wasn't in the best place after. Wasn't terrible either. Just enough that Cas had to work some power. 

The next morning was oddly enough Christmas. Dean was obviously conflicted. He wanted rip Cas a new one for using up a lot of his grace, setting back his recovery, but he also wanted kiss his angel for bringing his "Sammy" back. But overall, hisjoy fueled by the fact that I was home overrode his anger for the time being. For that I was happy, Cas gave up a lot to do that because he knew I needed it and because Dean did too. I missed my brother and Cas, of course. We spent Christmas day , talking and filling each other in.

Here's what I missed the day everything went down (Cas replayed the memory for me):

I shot a prayer to Cas. Apparently, fueled with anger Castiel went to wherever Dean was and dragged him home. 

"Dean, Sam called you to go with him! I was there. Why didn't you answer your brother? Where have you been?" Apparently, it reminisced when Cas beat up Dean when he was about to say "yes" to Michael. 

"Cheez, Cas. I'll just go," in the memory, Cas pushed Dean against a wall so Dean would understand. "Wait! What-"

"Sam's in the cage. So please tell me what was so important that you couldn't answer your brother when you knew it was his intention to go there with or without you."

"Sammy's in the cage?" Dean's face in the memory was...I can't even-

"Yes. So please, Dean, humor me. Why did you not answer the phone?" The venom in Cas' voice threw me for a turn, but, you know, it was nice to know how much Cas truly cared.

"Amara."

"Did she hurt you?"

"No, Cas. I'm fine. She won't-"

"Dean, what is it with you and Amara?"

"Cas, please. I don't want to-"

"Dean." Cas applied pressure to his grip on Dean.

"Fine. Fine. We-She says we share a bond. That we are destined to be together or some crap, and she kissed me, Cas. I told her to stick it where the sun don't shine. Don't-"

And that's where the memory cut off. From there on, my brother and Cas made failing plans to save me until Cas came.

So here's what we know: Amara is trying to find God. She can kill angels like nothing we have ever seen. She won't hurt Dean. She thinks they will be together (And yeah, not gonna happen. DON'T MESS WITH MY SHIP). Lucifer may still be on our side of the playing board. God might be around. What I know: Dean doesn't want Amara. He doesn't want Cas anywhere near her. Dean assured me that the bond wasn't anything like his profound bond with Cas because and I quote, "That bitch is gonna have to get in line." Cas cut off the memory. Something changed while I was in Hell. Something big.

Something between those two. It makes me angry that I couldn't hang mistletoe from every entry way and see it for myself. But something has changed before I realized it. Lucifer might be an ally. Amara has a weakness. Dean actually allowed Cas to exit the bunker to go grocery shopping. That was five hours ago.

This month started out terrible. The middle was literal Hell. But now, now we have something. And tomorrow's New Year's. A new change. A chance, A new love. Possibly two if Bethany will still have me. And by the King of Hell as my witness those two idjits shall kiss at midnight and hopefully I get one, too! 

This is Sam Winchester signing off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of the things I wrote were not how I personally view Sam, just how I believe he would say about himself. 
> 
> I also believe that Sam would have consulted Cas about the whole Lucifer/ God thing. Cas should have been in that episode but he wasn't so i tried to fix it. I probably failed, but oh well. 
> 
> Happy New Year, guys! Thank you so much for reading!


	5. January 1 2016

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How did everyone's first day of 2016 go? Anyone watch Sherlock? 
> 
> Anyway, Happy New Year!

January 1 2016

Happy New Year, Journal. How was your night? Mine was, well, it was unexpected. But first off, let me get some off my chest about my stupid best friend and my even dumber brother.

Okay. So remember when I wrote that they were gone for five (5 and half to be exact) hours probably doing things I rather never think about? Well, that's not what went down. And let me just say, even though I don't want to think of them doing the dirty or something of the sort, I want that sexual tension out of our bunker. Like five years ago. Anyways, those two dorks went to go see "Star Wars", even though we went to see it the day prior, because Dean says that Han Solo is still a babe, and Castiel just found the story line "riveting". 

I know. I know, the movie is only two hours and some minutes, but then they went to go see the "The Good Dinosaur". They did pick up groceries though. None I'll eat, but I suppose it's the thought that counts. Yeah, I'm still kind of angry about that. I was expecting a break from the longing stares and what not. Plus, I wanted to see "The Good Dinosaur"! I should see if Crowley wants to go...

Well, anyway my New Year's Eve night into New Year's morning(?) was pretty awesome, actually. I did call Bethany. Told her I was on a trip to see an old friend about helping with another and apologized for not calling. But we had a great time. I didn't get wasted. I didn't take her to some dive bar. She actually brought me to a friend's party. We kissed at midnight. I have a date for Saturday. It was good. It was great.

I got home around 2 a.m., and weren't those two lounging in the den with Doctor Who playing in the background. Dean had his feet up on the couch cushions with most of his body on the floor while Cas took up the whole couch. Dean wasn't drunk, so plus, but he was aggressively cursing Moffat for making River Song Amy and Rory's kid without them knowing for the past season and a half. And Cas with his "it's for the plot, Dean." So, I'm guessing they didn't kiss at midnight cause when said "Happy New Year, guys", Dean didn't realize. 

Overall, great night. Still have the darkness issue. Still want to see "The Good Dinosaur". Still have sexual tension to cut. But I have a date tomorrow!

S.W.


	6. January 3, 2016

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam goes from Win-chester to About-to-be-lose-chester

January 3, 2016

5:40 p.m.

Bethany. So smart. Beautiful. Funny. We went to go see a movie yesterday. It was "The Little Dinosaur" because she's cool like that. It went to smooth, and I'm so happy. i have not been happy with someone since Amelia, and even then we weren't that happy what with all of our issues. It's been two dates. I won't push it or anything. God, or whoever, knows I won't. But I'm happy, and we are going out again next week if we don't have a hunt. It's probably not the smartest thing to do. Getting a girlfriend at this time, but maybe it's the best reason to. I don't know, but so far it's something I can fight for. i want to see where it goes...

Tomorrow, we are leaving for a hunt. Should be a real quick salt and burn. Cas wants to come. i want him, too. He wants to go see Lucifer to discuss the Amara matters, but he needs to get out there first. He's still a little weak, especially since after rescuing me. But the poor guy needs to go out, spread his wings. Does he even have them-no... Spread out again. I think a little salt and burn'll do him good. But Dean. The forever worrier does not want Cas out there until he is 100%. He said preferably after the whole Amara thing blows over. He said something about her and angels. I think maybe he's scared she'll kill him. Which I understand. He-we-have lost Cas so many times. Every time takes a harder toll on my brother, I doubt he can live through another death that will probably be final.

I understand. But Cas does not. Dean needs to talk to him. Tell him why. Tell him he's scared. Tell him HE'S FREAKING IN LOVE WITH THE ANGEL! But Dean won't, but he needs to.

And, now they're fighting. Because Cas wants to go and Dean doesn't want him to. He wants him to be "100%", and Cas says he can't be one hundred percent until he's been out there. (which is true) Dean's sulking in his room angrily blasting Metallica. Cas practicing shooting down in the range to try and prove a point to Dean. Their problem is they both want to make each other happy and safe while not talking it out and compromising (Dean more so than Cas). 

I wish I was a witch sometimes, so I can hocus pocus their stupid asses together. Like seriously, you're in love. You (Dean) are overprotective and need to chill or the angel is gonna flip. You (Cas) need to let Dean take care of you every so often, so he will feel like he's doing something. You both need to sit down and discuss your feelings. This whole ordeal has taken its toll on me and I'm done! Talk! Then kiss! Then let's be Team Free Will again and banish Amara from our land! Then get a motel room because a) I'm sick of the sexual tension and b) I don't need to hear all that.

7:05 p.m.  
Cas just came in and threw an already packed duffle at me and said we are going on the hunt now. I need to tell Dean we're leaving. Then he left. This is gonna go over well with Dean. 

Wish me luck, Journal.  
Sam About-to-be-lose-chester


	7. June 17, 2016

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It has been awhile...

June 1, 2016

Ok. First off, I know it has been a while, Diary-Journal, but it was just one thing after another after another. I also lost you, but it was mostly the situation with Amara.

After the hunt Cas wanted to take me on, that's when everything unraveled. Castiel was possessed by Lucifer who jumped him while in the cage. That's too long of a story for me to record at this point, but I will put down how hard it Dean. Every time he heard the rustle of leaves or Lucifer appeared, it was all he could think about. Castiel. 

Long story short, God came back. Metatron died. Lucifer is out of Cas now but where? We don't know. God and Amara left together in peace to rekindle their relationship. And, oh yeah, Mom's back.

I'm so happy she's back, but how am I supposed to get Dean and Cas together if I can't make inappropriate gay sex jokes every time I see them?

Sincerely,  
a confused Sam

 

June 17, 2015

Remember when I said Mom being here would only make the whole Dean/Cas (Destiel ;P) worse? Yeah, well, I could not have been more wrong.

Mom ships it so hard. I though I was imagining it, but she sends them out for groceries together, seats them side by side for meals, and the other day I saw her take picture of them after they fell asleep huddled up together on the couch after a binge-a-thon of Doctor Who.

And she's also pretty awesome to have around. She makes dinners with Dean. Her and I have a lot in common, actually. She's also a little pissed at Dad for bringing us into The Life. I understand why, and so does she, but still. 

I love her being here. Dean says it finally feels like home after all these years, and I just might agree.

She also loves Cas. They can talk for hours about heaven, the angels, history, and us. Cas did most of the story telling while Dean and I contributed. One night, I walked in and she was holding Cas' face in her hands. You know what she said to him, "I always knew angels were watching over my boys. Watching over Dean." 

That's it. That's how I knew, she shipped it and wasnt just imagining it. Right now, I'm waiting for her to get up to discuss it with her. Wish me luck.

-Matchmaker Matchmaker Matchmaker

SAM (and hopefully Mom, too!)


	8. June 20, 2016

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky and Steve are basically synonyms for Cas and Dean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok. So I wrote this on Monday on my phone, but then my friend called me. My work got deleted, and then I had surgery... It wasn't a long wait but it felt like it. So here you guys go! I really hope you enjoy it. I loved writing this entry. 
> 
> Also thank you all for the kudos. Before last chapter, this only had about 20. The sudden boast gave me so much energy to write this and my other stories. So thank you all so much! Enjoy!
> 
> *no Civil War spoilers

June 20, 2016-

Great, great news! Mom. 

Mom is the biggest destiel shipper there is. That morning I confronted her, she sang. She openly admitted it, it took everything for me not to laugh at my mom while she basically 'fangirled' over Dean and Cas. 

While that was amusing and so reassuring to my sanity, it wasn't the best part. I think my favorite thing is why she ships it. I mean, I ship because, yeah, Dean will be happier, but mostly I'm sick of the pining and sitting in the same room as their constant eye-fucking and sexual tension. But Mom, her reason is strictly Dean.

She said she wants them together because she sees the way they move around each, their automatic shift every time the other moves. She sees the way Dean actually smiles, and she sees that it's hard for Dean to let himself be happy but he's happy with Cas. She said she may not have been around for any of his pain, but she knows he went through a lot of shit that she KNOWS left its scars. And she thinks Cas is the only one who can truly understand and help him heal. She told me that she's not going to pretend like she's know either of us very well, no matter how much she wishes that was true. She understands that she's been gone for how many years so she doesn't know what we have been through. It's kind of reassuring and relaxing that she's not acting like any other mother who came back from the dead probably would- acting like they know their children better than themselves. But the thing is she's trying. Trying to understand. Trying to know us. Trying in general and that's all I've ever wanted was my Mom, trying and being here in my life. 

But that's a huge part of why she wants them together. She doesn't knew everything Dean's been through, and she loves that Cas does and still sticks by him.

Also she admitted the sexual tension was suffocating, and we had to do something about it immediately. Point to Team Free Sexual Tension (Hopefully when I am not home).

Also! She said she can not wait to conspire with me. She has so many ideas of how to get them together. I'm so excited to hear them. Mom is a brilliant women and quick hunter, it will be interesting to see what her plans are. The day I confronted her, Mom was about to completely indulge me, but didn't my brother have to come into the kitchen right then? Dean waltzed into the kitchen, made a new pot of coffee, and started on breakfast. Normally, Dean wouldn't be awake that early, but we did have Marvel marathon planned that day (I should have prepared better!). Dean had to make the coffee early because if we even wanted a chance of getting Cas up in time, the angel needed his coffee. I know. I know, Journal, you're wondering why Cas is sleeping in the first place? Well, he doesn't need to, but we figured (okay, Mom figured) that sleep would make Cas feel better while he's still dealing with depression and PTSD. So far, it has which is awesome for Cas. He's coming a long way. But the only way we can get him up from his beauty sleep at reasonable hour is if we get him coffee. Again, he doesn't need it, but he sure as hell loves it.

But yeah, Mom and I didn't get to discuss any plans. We did, on the other hand, watch some Marvel movies which Mom and Cas had never seen. Movies that we watched include: Iron Man 1-3, Captain America 1-2, Thor, Ant Man, and Avengers 1-2. It took all day and into the night some but so worth. Mom and Cas (understandably) didn't understand most of the pop culture references. It was hilarious to watch them guess or talk about the meaning together. Over all, it was a great day full of Marvel movies and family bonding. Cas now might have a slight obsession with Marvel and Captain America. Mom absolutely loves Thor and Captain America.

When I asked Mom and Cas why those movies were their favorite. Castiel simply blushed (CAP REMINDS HIM OF DEAN- SCREW ME), and Mom laughed. Her reasoning-for lack of a better term- was adorable. Mom said she loved them because the superheroes reminded her of me and Dean. Thor is tall with long hair (I know Dean won't let me live this one down-jerk wouldn't stop laughing) and very muscular. It only got better when I explained that one time I was able to lift the real Hammer of Thor, and Mom absolutely flipped. And Captain America reminded her of Dean which Cas blushed at again (Am I right or Am I right???)! There seemed to be more that story, but we'd have to wait to find out...;)

Dean and Cas turned in first to go to their separate rooms (*cough* ROOM *cough*). They left me and Mom to think up all sorts of plans. Plans that they'll never know we had a part in. Plans that would be hilarious and embarrassing as hell. Plans that just didn't seem right for destiel (you know, it sounds like destiny). We still have a lot of planning before we do anything.

Right before we turned in, Mom turned to me and said (and I F**CKING QUOTE), "1. Bucky and Steve are gay. 2. Bucky is Cas. Dean is Steve. 3. Bucky and Steve are basically synonyms for Cas and Dean. AND SHE GOT UP AND LEFT, leaving me laughing until my chest hurt.

I can't believe my mother said that, but I am SO GLAD she did.

Tomorrow, we go see Civil War. Guess what team we are on?

A: Team Steve and Bucky (stucky???) AKA Team Destiel

Good night, Journal. It's been a day...

Sam- scratch that- THOR (is that blasphemous to the real Thor? Please don't take offense)


	9. July 1, 2016

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So today, my dearest diary, we are taking a break (A SMALL ONE, NO FRET) from the epic story of Dean and Castiel's sexual frustration in order to explain my mother's recent adjustment to the modern world.

July 1, 2016

Journal-

It's Sam. 

So, this whole time I have been complaining, planning, etc. about Dean and Cas' mutual pining, and I just realized something...My mom came back from the dead! SHE CAME BACK FROM THE DEAD!!! She was dead, and then she wasn't! That's insane! I mean, yeah, with me, Dean, and Cas combined we've died over 100 hundred times and came back, but that is beside the point. 

In a more serious tone, Mom has been dead since '83, and now she's in the year 2016. In a time where we have things like Iphones, Virtual Reality, many of her celebrities are dead, the internet is an actual accessible thing, gas and food prices, etc. Seriously, there's so much that has changed since then. I think it's important for me to discuss this. So today, my dearest diary, we are taking a break (A SMALL ONE, NO FRET) from the epic story of Dean and Castiel's sexual frustration in order to explain my mother's recent adjustment to the modern world. 

I'm only going to list a few topics, okay?

1\. Tales of Her Children (and Castiel)  
The first day was a tough one for her. It's actually hard to see your mom cry, and it's even harder when it's about your life and she blames herself. Do I really have to say more on this topic? We told her about our lives since she's been gone. She cursed Dad, God, and cried. She hugged all of us, and kept thanking Castiel for trying to keep us safe. She said it sounded like we had some issues in the past, but she asked Castiel his side of everything, clearing a bunch of shit up. It was a day of truth, love, and forgiveness. A day I have never experienced before... 

2\. First IPhone Experience  
This was on her second day back. Cas and I were in the library, Dean was in the garage, and Mom was in the kitchen baking an apple pie. Dean left his phone on the kitchen table and it started ringing its tune of Ramble On. Mom said she searched the whole kitchen and couldn't find a jukebox, radio, or record player, then the phone sang again. She saw it, picked it up like Dean does with spiders, and started running in the hallway, screaming, "BOYS! I THINK THERE"S A BOMB! MAYBE!" So, Cas and I (Dean couldn't hear) run out to see her holding the phone with the most confused face to ever conceived (and I have met several angels, so I know a thing or two...). I started cracking up while Cas gave her a sympathetic smile and walked up to her, explaining the phone to her. Thinking back on it now, Cas probably wasn't our best option for the phone talk because every so often I'll find her and Cas playing some kind of bee game. She understands the phone thing now but does NOT want one AT ALL. 

3\. Facebook  
She wanted one. We told her it was a bad idea. Cas went behind our backs, and made her a like page. Guess what their page is about. Yep! You guessed it!

Bees...they have 1,000 likes already...how?!

4\. Grocery Shopping   
Mom went with Dean to get groceries, and Mom comes home complaining about the prices. "$3 for a gallon of milk!" "$2.97 for eggs, that's Insane!!" "Not to mention the lunch meat!" Since that day, she has founded the Coupons For Us Winchesters Society (CFUWS) which includes Dean, Cas, Mom, and myself. The CFUWS is where the four of us clip coupons and pin down the best sales of the week. 

5\. Death of George Harrison   
She cried. She sat in the middle of the couch, laptop (that's a different story) at her feet, holding mine and Dean's hands, and singing "Hey Jude". 

 

A part from those things I'm going to list some of the things she's really taken to:  
Netflix  
DVDs   
Laptops  
Intensive romantic planning   
Obama (?)

It's a great laugh and all, but in all honesty, my mother is one strong woman. For most people, the drastic change from the eighties to the 2010s would drive them insane, but my mom is pushing through it, and I am so proud of her. She's really trying and enjoys taking in the new information despite it being overwhelming at times. 

Your Creator  
Sam

P.S. Next entry is, without a doubt, going to be interesting...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the kudos and comments! I appreciate all of them so much!


	10. July 11, 2016

July 4, 2016

Dearest dear journal, 

Do I have news for you! Put turn your listening pages cause Sammy's about to indulge you. 

Independence Day. Fourth of July. The birth of our Nation. All of that beauty. It will forever stay as the day Mom and I made a big move.

While Mom and I went out for fireworks, Cas and Dean started preparing burgers. When we were out Mom came to me and suggested a plan. 

1\. Place fireworks outside, preferably far from the bunker  
2\. Send Dean and Cas outside before, preferably far from the bunker  
3\. Lock the doors   
4\. Grab two beers, Netflix, and watch the fireworks (get it? ;) )

Honestly, the plan was extremely cliche. I don't trust it, not really. It's in so many romantic comedies, but it's a plan. Wish us luck!

Oh my Chuck, it's gonna work!

July 11, 2016

Hey, remember when I told you I had big news like the plan that totally worked to get Dean and Cas together? 

Well, that's good because it didn't work. We locked them outside, we heard the fireworks go off, and then Dean banged on the door for several moments before picking the lock. 

Nothing happened. That's why I've been avoiding you. I haven't wanted to share my failure.

Even this is sickening. 

I'm going to go sick my puppy dogs on everyone at the store. See ya-

Sammy


	11. August 6, 2016

August 6, 2016

Dearest Journal in the Men of Letters Collection, 

I owe you an apology as large as the Chrysler Building. I am truly, truly sorry for the way I have treated you with that of neglect and hopelessness. I have neglected but with reason DUE TO my feelings of hopelessness toward our favorite two idiots. I have neglected because of my failure during the Battle of the 4th. I failed my mother, my brother, my best friend, America, God, the friggin' world, but most importantly, you. This past month, I have been trying to redeem myself with a juicy story of love and lust between an angel and a human, but like I said your undeserving neglect was prolonged due to my utter hopelessness. But here I am trying to make it up to you and gain your forgiveness. And I think I have the scoop of the week (month, rather?)! ;)

I know you want to hear of my failure, but let's not live in the past, okay? 

Everything has been, I suppose, relatively settled. We have a hunt at least once a week, we come home, and chill. Mom and Dean have taken to cooking together almost every night. She's really taken being in the future well. She and Cas are (I know this sounds strange, and what kind of person says this-but...) adorable! There is no other word for it. I have tried to find one, and I can't! They are simply adorable. They bake together. Mom tries to teach Cas to cook (some luck, yet not enough). They binge watch Netflix whenever they can (we do this as a family, but they put it on and call us. We all somehow fit on the couch. Cas and Mom split center, I hang half of my body on the ground beside Mom, and Dean lies his head on Cas' lap! His lap! How? What?!). They sort of gossip. Cas friggin' tattle-tales on us! What the hell is that about? It's hilarious, but it can be a real pain in the ass. 

I know they are adorable, but I know you didn't wait so long to hear me talk about them. You are here for - drum roll, please- DESTIEL!!!

I'll give a brief overview of every little detail that has happened concerning destiel. Real quick, promise. I'm going to make a list. Don't judge.   
1\. Dean and Cas more than half the time go on hunt by themselves while Mom and I go on a different one. And after each hunt, they go out somewhere in "celebration". If that doesn't sound like a date, I don't know what does.   
2\. They'll randomly pop up where the other one is and just sit there. Sometimes they stare, talk, wink, or smile. WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THIS? FLAIL AROUND THE LIBRARY WITH MY MOM AND SCREAM...I mean, that is...what I do, but still! It doesn't matter if Dean's cleaning up the Impala or his guns, or if Cas is baking or tending to his bee farm (see #3). They flirt, they blush, it gets awkward, and the sexual tension crawls into whatever room they are in, and it's frustrating!  
3\. The bee farm. The dear angel's bee farm. You know all about Cas' bee obsession. I understand it. Respect it even, but he's bee crazy. I guess you could say he's...beeranged (like deranged, get it?) Well, anyway, before the whole Amara/Lucifer/God thing Cas was asking us if it was okay for him to get a bee farm. We never had the time before, but we agreed that it probably wasn't the best idea since it reminded Dean of Cain and stuff. Cas understood completely and hasn't brought it up since. Then, doesn't my brother come home one day with some structures for the bee farm? Yeah, it must bee love.   
4\. Kind of hate myself right now. This is whole entry is kind of gross and sickening, but so is their love. It's fine. Mom comes into my room every so often just to talk about them. If they fall asleep on the couch together, if Dean makes Cas' favorite meal or tunes up the old pimp-mobile, or if Cas asks Mary to help make some pie. Mom and I are actual fangirls. It sickens me more than anything before, and I've drank gallons of demon blood and killed millions of monsters. And the one thing that sickens me most it this crap! Being fangirl/boy of my brother and his angel's romantic life. I want to say I regret it but with a love this profound, how can I?

There's the briefest summary you are ever going to get. Next up to bat is our most recent occurrence that proves my thesis statement: Dean and Castiel are actually married. 

Yesterday, Cas and my brother came back from their latest hunt. We heard a car door being slammed followed by the garage door and shouting:  
"Cas! Get back here!"

"No, Dean, leave it alone!"

"Cas, what's wrong? Tell me what's happening." There was a pause. "At least, let me patch you up." 

"I am fine, Dean. Let's just go see your mom and Sam." 

"Damn it, Cas! Fucking talk to me!" That's where they entered, and Cas had a bloody brow, a bruised hand to match Dean's bruised jaw. 

Mom immediately rushed to both of them, concerned, asking, "Dean? Cas? What happened?"

Castiel responded with one of those polite yet loving smiles he always gives me when there was something he didn't want me to know. "Nothing, Mary. Just a minor blow during the hunt."

I asked the obvious question, "Why didn't you heal yourself?"

From there, Mom went into a huge fuss over Cas as Dean started shouting at Cas to tell him what's up. After a while, Castiel got so done with my brother's shit that he yelled at him, "You know what I'm leaving!" That little declaration didn't set well with any of us, especially Dean. Longer story short, Dean got kicked out of the bunker because- and I quote my idiotic brother- "We need some space and Cas needs to shove his shit and fucking tell me what he's got up his ass!" Cas locked himself in his room, Mom's been searching Netflix for a good show, and I'm writing to you. 

That was last night. It is currently 6:43 a.m. We'll see what today brings. Hopefully, Destiel. If not, Chuck and I need to have a talk.

Can we talk about what Dean said? I know the answer in the future. I ramble slightly too much. Just ignore that...or you know, don't. 

Hoping- even if its full of it

Sam Winchester


End file.
